It’s time for the first Kpopalypse roundup of 2026! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
Welcome to 2026! Not many songs this week because my song submitter is taking a break, plus there just isn’t that much stuff worth a look anyway.
It’s actually not too bad, but this won’t be the lightning-in-a-bottle that “Gnarly” was, due to the relatively safe musical choices here. The “zucchini” line also seems like a half-assed stab at capturing some of the same “lol random” energy lyrically. Katseye need a lot more in the tank than this to keep their momentum going.
Definitely on the higher end of Rolling Quartz songs, with decent riffs and punchy rhythms. All it really needs is a chord change. Seriously, just one fucking chord change somewhere would have made this kick ass.
Twice fans, being notoriously thick as dogshit to the point where they will literally enable stalkers and put their fave’s lives in direct danger in the name of “protecting their bias”, naturally missed the point of my recent Twice criticism. They think it’s all about gender and age, because they’re bigots, but there’s no reason why a mature age Twice can’t do this sound. There’s also no reason why a guy group, of any age, can’t do this sound. The industry just gives this sound to young girls because that’s what their market research tells them you want. If you want k-pop agencies to do better, be better. In the meantime this song is a great recapturing of Twice in their late 2010’s peak form, the year’s first banger.
Even Joohoney could not suck if he really wanted to, but it seems that this is beyond him. Rei doesn’t add anything worthwhile either.
Actually some reasonable beats here but it’s all undone with way too much cheesiness, and that awful chorus hook which is just Jennie’s “Solo” with a whole bunch of yelling. Depressing that Muhammad Ali’s estate said yes to this but maybe they need the money. Hey maybe they can sample my kookaburra tapping on the window for a shitty Joohoney song in the future if they pay him enough dead lizards.
When even Apink are foregoing their signature impressive video look to do AI slop, we can be sure that the golden era of k-pop music videos has officially passed us by.
It’s better than the video thumbnail suggests, but that drumbeat still needs a serious kick up the ass.
I’d say that the secret number is still two, but I was told that this group has no original members left, so I guess the secret number has now dropped to zero.
And don’t groups on H1-Key’s tier know it. Actually one of the less-good H1-key songs, which means that it’s still way above average and better than the shit most groups put out these days.
A reasonable enough rock song, definitely not at the level of the better QWER tracks but hopefully they’ll get there. Nice solo by the invisible keyboard player who seems to be putting in the lion’s share of the musical work here.
Crap song of course that might’ve actually been written by AI this time but Iiterniti’s videos are actually fascinating just to watch the various ways in which all the little AI slop fuckups slip through the net.
At first I was thinking “oh no not the Soulja Boy song” but depressingly I think the Souljda Boy song is actually marginally better than this.
This isn’t really anything much but it’s pleasant enough I suppose and probably still better than most of what’s in here this week.
Okay so this year in roundups I’m just going to give you a random non-kpop musical pick each week. Could be literally anything at all, but I’ll try and always make it something a bit… different. Just for your entertainment and to mix things up a little. Don’t expect your faves, the fun is in bringing you stuff you probably haven’t already seen and liked. Did you know that “gym metal” was a thing? I didn’t. Definitely “heavy metal” in the most literal sense possible, Golias are pretty funny and definitely don’t take themselves too seriously. Enjoy, especially those who like buff dudes…
This is a bit old but putting it here anyway, just for some visual variety and because there are hardly any songs this week. Song kinda sucks though. Maybe I’ve covered it before, maybe not, can’t even remember. Who cares.
Another song from the tail end of last year that I deliberately left out of roundup, I’ll add it here even though it’s boring af just so you know that it exists. And…. no.
Like an early T-ara song if it was just lounged the fuck out. Not bad but doesn’t work with this lazy backing.
It’s a 2/5 Berry Good reunion except it’s dull as fuck R&B that has nothing in common with Berry Good musically, just like every single other thing these two girls have done ever since leaving that group. What a pity. I’m sure being in Berry Good sucked and all so I wish these two all the best for their solo careers but the better songs from Berry Good were fire and there’s none of that spark here.
Where Chuu actually meets and thanks her CEOs personally. Would never have happened back in Blockberry days!
Never mind the promises of that metallic logo and Siyeon’s Freddy Krueger jumper, listen to that lounge music in the background. It’s probably going to be some weak soft shite that doesn’t rock as hard as the #1 rock song in k-pop, IVE’s “Rebel Heart”, isn’t that right Asian Junkie?
The fast-paced, melodic keyboard-heavy sound here is a good example of what made a lot of early Kara songs work. They got even better than this later, doubling down even more on the thick sonic layers. Of course this group had their shitful b-sides and ballads too but the better tracks stand up well against what’s out there today.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!
