“I did this talk recently where I said I’m expanding into learning to be a death doula, which seemed to have people confused or intrigued,” the Babygirl star told an audience at the Kimmel Center’s Marian Anderson Hall recently for part of a live speaker series produced by The History Channel.
After saying she wanted to help families navigate their final moments together, she described the work of a death doula as “really fascinating”.
A doula typically helps mothers during pregnancy and childbirth in a non-medical capacity, while death doulas – also called “end-of-life” doulas – provide similar holistic services, offering support to dying individuals and their families.
“It’s very beautiful, and you have to be a certain personality to be able to do it,” Kidman said. “But I found out that I’m actually that personality. It’s very important to me. There is always suffering, but if there are people there who can help with that, help those final stages be less painful — if you feel the connection in your heart, then that’s lovely. So that’s what I’m exploring.”
Kidman shared her thoughts on the practice after reflecting on her mother’s death, which coincided with her being honoured at the Venice Film Festival in September 2024. “This seems to be such a common theme through my life,” she said. “I was about to go on stage, and I found out my mother had died. I went right back to the room in Venice, got into bed and was completely devastated.”
Kidman went on to recall not knowing how to function or move forward, because her mother “was so much a part of my existence, so the idea of being there at that particular moment was harrowing”.
“I remember getting into a boat in the canal, and literally at night trying to find my way to the airport, and then turning around and going, I can’t even do this. And then went back into the bed, and I was alone. My husband wasn’t there. My children weren’t there. I’d gone to win an award. What should have been a beautiful thing, ended up with that,” she continued.
“But there is the contrast of life, and that’s what I always say to people. I say that’s when I know I’m resilient. That’s when I know I can survive pretty much anything.”
The Nine Perfect Strangers actor and producer noted that in relation to both to life and art, she didn’t think she “ever sought peace”. Rather, she said: “I sought exploration of the human condition. I’m a worker bee, I love to be in the world working, and I love to provide work if I can for others, and I love to do the work.”
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