It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
The good news is that Twice’s new song sounds like a Dreamcatcher comeback. The bad news is that it sounds like one of the latter-day less-good Dreamcatcher comebacks. Hey I’ll take it, it’s still a step up from Twice’s other recent material.
Yena tries to snatch Lovelyz and IU’s wig and it nearly works but the songwriting is just a little too all over the place to really hit the right notes.
BoA does her best to rock out and the results are better than expected, but nobody’s going to believe she’s a real rock artist until she gets her microphone use correct.
A semi-reggae song that doesn’t quite work due to having production that is all wrong for this style, where’s Primary when you need him.
BigHit are really pushing the boy solos hard at the moment and it sucks for us. This one could have been acceptable but that falsetto voice has got to go.
Truly awful. Let’s give this one the bird.
It’s that lame latin sound once again but I doubt many are here for the music anyway. Speaking of which if you want to vote for Huening Kai or any other k-pop twinks in the Kpopalypse Objectification Survey there’s still time – get to it!
Oh wait – you like guys who are more buff? We’ve got you covered here at Kpopalypse.com! If you’re sick of voting for Wonho and don’t know who else to vote for, you could give some of the guys in Wild Wild a shot. If you want to know who is who, you can check their website. Do it, caonima! Also, the song’s actually a banger.
Beomgyu drew the short straw and got the ballad, sucks to be him. He can keep his half to himself I think.
Aura of what is the question.
I’m not sure what’s more puzzling, Rainbow trying the “Sistar19” trick about a decade after their main group stopped releasing regular stuff, or this being released on K-Tigers’ YouTube channel. If nothing else it might earn them a few votes in the Kpopalypse 2025 Objectification Survey which is still running at the time of writing, don’t forget to vote for your favourite men and women of k-pop!
This would have been potentially good if they struck out with some original melodies instead of making it a cover of one of the dreariest pop songs ever created, because the raw sounds here are quite nice. Oh well.
How can you do? Better than this next time would be nice.
Absolute crap, made even more painful by the fact that the video intro promises a much better song than what is delivered.
Dreary and dull “for the fans” nonsense that underlines what a waste of time the Fromis_9 reactivation has been so far. The songwriters might think they’re the rebelution but they really aren’t rebels in their hearts.
Yeah this is quite boring. Even the boys don’t look that excited.
According to my song submitter “this unit include a former RIIZE member
who was removed after leaked photos showed him kissing a woman and smoking cigarettes.” Maybe he should go back to doing that instead of boring me to death with whatever this is.
The usual light fluffy trash that all these groups do now. It’s a skip.
We used to have box videos a decade ago, now they just put some scaffolding and lights up and call it a day. That is, if you get lucky and they don’t shoot it in the damn car park. Sad times.
Okay so this isn’t bad, but where are the girl groups doing this sound, instead of light fluffy NewJeansified bullshit. This I ask you.
Kardi aren’t bad even if the gayageum is really totally superfluous to their sound (the register of it means that sonically they effectively just have two bass players). I’ve heard better rock songs but I’ve also heard a lot worse. It’s one of the better songs this week.
I wish I could close my ears as well.
The opening chords sounded cool but I could see where this was going, I crossed my fingers and said to myself “please don’t bring the tired NewJeansified beat in please don’t bring the tired NewJeansified beat in please don’t bring the tired NewJeansified beat in” – and of course they brought the tired NewJeansified beat in. K-pop songwriters constantly trend-chasing is the reason why most people who get into k-pop tire of it after a few short years… you’ve heard one new song, you’ve heard them all, and if the same retreaded music doesn’t scare you off, the fandoms sure will. Just as well Kpopalypse.com reliably produces a best of k-pop list each year so you can skip the crap, right?
She doesn’t even pick up the damn guitar until right near the end, if that doesn’t summarise the problem with post-Lovelyz solo project songs I don’t know what does.
Nah, I’m good thanks.
Another boring fucking male solo oh my god I’m sick of revieweing th… hey wait, this is actually really good, what the fuck? Why is this so awesome? Holy shit! And what’s their fucking excuse for getting it wrong the rest of the time?
Woodz tries to do a rock thing but he doesn’t really know what actual rock is so this sounds like some D-grade post-grunge industry-gilded band that some major label was pushing in the US in the late 90s. If Kardi was too lively and interesting for you this week, this should hit the spot.
Some guy from Astro has a song but it’s weak and nobody cares so let’s have our weekly non-Korean LGBT feature here instead, yay! This week it’s Halestorm, and while there’s a lot of hard rock and metal singers too scared to come out of the closet lest they lose all their fans, Lzzy Hale from Halestorm definitely isn’t one of them. In fact she’s talked extensively in the media about how revealing her sexuality actually increased her fanbase and helped her personally, so don’t be afraid to get BADING, readers!
Back to k-pop and… yeah maybe let’s not go back to k-pop hahaha
An annoying video, and… well, the song is annoying too, so I guess they fit together.
Aww, she’s cute and I don’t want to be mean but this song fucking sucks mega horse cock I’m sorry write something better thank this total trash tysm uwu 
If you’re going to be unlistenable go all the way. Effie gets it right because she goes so far into shit music territory that she actually energes partway out the other side and becomes semi-good again.
This is really stupid but it kind of works. It’s actually got more structure to it than most of the A-list stuff this week, which is unexpected from Dbo of all people.
Yeah it’s just average, but then it’s 10cm so what do you expect.
Shaun is a bit like the male solo Fifty Fifty, he’s never amazing but very consistently above average. Hey have you heard “Starry Night” by the way, that’s not a bad song you know. You could listen to it if you wanted.
Accurate song title of the week.
I wasn’t wild about this but I’m probably just deducting points because I don’t see the rest of the band.
I’m always surprised there isn’t more punk in Korea. In fact I know there’s a lot of it but only about three people give a shit.
I guess Blackpink is not allowed in aespa’s area.
Readers alerted me to people fat-shaming YouTuber angelina so I thought I’d take the time to feature a long-ass 40 minute video of her talking about the KG vs JYP situation. I think she’s a pretty good YouTuber so why not check this video out if you’re interested in a blow-by-blow of the situation. This is the kind of content I’d never do personally though, because I’d rather talk about the patterns and ideas behind these things rather than break down each individual situation. Give someone a fish and you’ll feed them for a day, but teach them to fish and they’ll feel like a shark, chiki chika chu
I don’t know much about this song and group having just discovered it thanks to caonimas, but this actually isn’t too bad. My retro song submitter tells me that Hitchhiker was part of this group and you wouldn’t pick it by listening to it, but it probably explains why the production isn’t complete dogshit like a lot of stuff from back when this was made.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week! In the meantime, don’t forget that the Kpopalypse 2025 Objectification Survey is now open, so CLICK HERE to participate and have your say in who are the most attractive men and women of k-pop!
