It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
The influence of Blackpink’s “Jump” continues, and I definitely approve. However while the song is good, it comes at the expense of some of Le Sserafim’s character – whatever minimal signature sound the group have built up to this point definitely isn’t anywhere here. This is above average, but it could be any group’s above average song.
QWER’s latest is a grower with a neat chorus, just like the first time you read feminist literature it makes little sense, but it reads better the second time, QWER would know all about that. Also, transgender content in my k-pop, truly they are forward thinking and on the cutting edge of LGBT in your k-pops, certain Kpopalypse content paved the way…
Actually a really good chorus here when it finally happens but the song oddly barely even focuses on it. Remember the times of “Bangkok City” where the song structure is all like “let’s get this lame verse out of the way as quick as we can so we can just repeat the killer chorus over and over”? Mot much of that energy in k-pop these days.
In these AI-slopporific days, just seeing a bunch of attractive people dancing in a room is enough to not offend the eyes. Speaking of offense, did you notice how this indoor set is kind of a mirror-image of Doechii’s “Denial Is A River” set? Are they mocking her perhaps? Tsk tsk, those Kiss Of Life girls…
Pretty boy-pop-by-numbers stuff, it’s okay if you want something undemanding.
It’s group titles like this that make me happy I’m not a radio DJ anymore. And that’s all I’ve got to say about this one, so I’m just going to say a quick thank you to all the people who bought my new book Girls909 this month and got it on the Amazon best sellers list! I 
you all tysm uwu (and hope you weren’t too traumatised ahem)! Of course if you didn’t get it yet it’s no big deal as the book will still be available basically forever, just like you could be listening to “Roly Poly” right now instead of SM’s new poop.
Nothing all that bad, nothing all that great either. A slight rock veneer helps things along but it lacks a killer hook.
Apparently a Bang Chan creation and it’s decently silly and enjoyable once it gets going. I wonder if the hand statue on the table is a Deus Ex reference? Perhaps JYP really is the illuminati… in which case he can donate here…
Yeah, I hope it fails too.
Not the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard ever in my life but we’re very much over slow beats in 2026.
Hyoyeon has kind of made club music her brand and her new song really suits the style she’s established up until this point. I’m not wild about the repetitive vocal meter but that’s about the only thing wrong with it.
You know what beats rock, paper and scissors? A bad Kpopalypse review.
It’s that anime trash again.
Their other song is maybe better but “eyes on me” is up there with “I don’t give a what” as a lyric written both by and for fucktards.
The song submitter advised me that “On April 21, comedy film “Wildsing” unveiled a music video for their fictional co-ed group TRIANGLE, a once-popular co-ed trio that fell into obscurity after an unfortunate incident.” No clue on what the unfortunate incident was but from the sounds of this song perhaps it was the death of their songwriter.
Maybe closing your ears would be wiser.
Crappy ass video which is just “let’s look at the BOL4 girl being attractive and wandering around nowhere in particular” but it’s actually the best song they’ve had in years, almost back to their duo form.
And here’s the same thing again just at the beach instead of on some vacant lot. I guess the money has really run out, or maybe she’s just saving for a house deposit.
It’s nice that Solar is picking up the Chinese cash but I’m so bored over here.
Probably the best Olivia Marsh track to date, which isn’t saying a lot given that her other tracks are mostly dreary accoustic ballads that were so bland they didn’t even make roundup.
Hi Fi Unicorn back yet again with their one incredibly mid song per week. I think it’s about time to make them rarer than a unicorn in roundup.
Mimi is from Gugudan although you could be forgiven for forgetting. Sing is bland as fuck by the way, don’t get your hopes up from the Orange Caramel-ish song title, it’s nothing like that.
Someone suggested this nugu and I”m not sure why because it’s pretty meh.
Your Seventeen bias has progressed to the “sitting on chairs doing some snooze duet with some female singer you would never listen to otherwise” part of his career.
I thought this might be a trot thing because it’s set in an office and 90% of trot videos are set in offices for some reason, but no, it’s not even that good. Avoid.
Different, cool, and less than a thousand views at the time of writing. Get on it.
Lots of fun, recommended. Not sure of the backstory here, but it works.
Knocked Loose are just Napalm Death for the 2020s, with more strings on their guitars and occasional random-ass collabs for no reason. I don’t think that Denzel Curry quite fits into this track as well as Poppy did in “Suffocate” but the effort to pair up with randos is appreciated. Pinkpantheress next!
Now that someone besides me is finally saying it, maybe people will listen? Probably not though, let’s not get our hopes up.
To save you having to sit through a horrid snakeskin bag endorsement – the hater was Hyokey’s middle school friend who just randomly started spewing mega extreme hate as soon as Hyokey got some fame and so Hyokey sued the shit out of her. Not that her group Ariaz even got that far, but the point is, the hate patterns that Girls909 demonstrates have real precendents.
Back in the days when Pledis weren’t scared of girl germs, they had a solo singer called Son Dam Bi on their label and she wasn’t bad actually. “Crazy” isn’t amazing and features some odd sonics that don’t quite work but it’s still decent enough despite it all. It recalls the early T-ara sound as a lot of k-pop sounded like lesser versions of T-ara back then, especially with some of the vocal lines, harmony and meter being near-identical. Hey if you’re going to take inspiration from someone, it might as well be the best.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!
