It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
It’s not bad until it hits that horrible Redvelvetised chant chorus. I guess at least it’s a good demonstration of why you shouldn’t trust AI.
Sports songs are not eligible for roundup consideration really and this song won’t be considered for end of year lists either. This entry is just here so you know that I ignored it on purpose. Sport: not even once. Sport is no fun. Sport endangers the lives and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today. Stop the madness! There are better things in life
I.O.I finally have a really good song. It only took them a decade of hiatus while their agencies fucked around and tried to milk the fame every other which way.
Some almost-bossanova thing which is very boring but Bibi’s waterbomb credentials definitely shine through here. “It’s not sexual, it’s about having a big water party” – that’s what TikTok says so it must be true.
QWER go for a 2000s rock revival type sound and I’m not really sure if it plays to their strengths but the chorus is pretty good so I’ll take it.
There are several possibilities in life, but the one that I like the best is the one where I don’t listen to this song again.
A lot of k-pop songs get “metal versions” from fans and those versions are mostly a downgrade because it’s just the usual chug-chug generic Johnny one-note riffs that are trendy in modern metal, but I think it would actually do some good here.
Pretty cool actually – simple, punchy, fun, stays in the same mood and doesn’t do anything stupid. That’s all we want really.
Well you’re not Wonho, let’s put it that way.
Look at 1:36. These agencies are acutely aware of how stupid fans are. That’s why they don’t ever listen to anything you say.
One of those songs that there’s isn’t anything all that wrong with, it just really needed to be faster. Play this at 1.25x speed and it’s actually decent.
There’s no saving this one though, it sucks at any speed other than “off”.
I like the part where it sounds like the Goat Simulator theme song with that stupid whistle noise. The rest of it’s relatively ordinary.
More proof that even if you’re deaf you can probably still make a song better than 90% of the k-pop that comes out each week.
That boring soft rock shit that Koreans are addicted to but that the rest of the world puts on only when the insomnia is kicking in.
Take away the shitty slow section where they repeat “ate” mindlessly like they’re playing The Stanley Parable, and it’s like a latter-day Japanese Girls’ Generation song (a good thing).
Nobody cares about your new shit boy group, Jay. What we care about is your soju. Hurry up and send some to my post office box somy girlfriend can drink it and I can review it.
So short and unspectacular that it barely even exists. Just like this review.
That Autotuned R&B poop that we all hate.
Their fourth anniversary song, apparently. Who even knew this group’s boring-ass songs existed, let alone for four years?
A nice try but the songwriting just isn’t quite there for something like this.
Just in case you were wondering, the reason why there’s no other posts besides roundup this week is that for some reason my website admin page wasn’t loading. After a few days of being flummoxed I managed to get around it by pointing my VPN to the Philippines and I don’t know why that fixes it but it does so there you go. I realise that’s probably not very interesting information for many of you, but I promise that if I wrote anything about this song it would be even less interesting.
We even gotta use AI-assisted image generation for eating chips now. Can’t we just eat a chip normally, JYP? LISTEN TO LILY WHEN SHE IS SPEAKING TO YOU.
Disco bollocks, as generic as it gets.
Yeeun’s version of disco bollocks is slightly better but it’s still nothing all that much.
It’s a nice touch how the video features a guy at the end listening to the song on headphones and gradually descending into mental illness, very relatable.
\
This is boring too and it’s actually so boring that I forgot what I was going to put in this place instead of a song review so I guess nothing goes here.
And this literally sounds like a continuation of the previous boring song. How much generic soft shit can you take? Nobody became a k-pop fan to listen to music like this.
Well it certainly blows something.
A lot of boring stuff this week that I just skipped and this is boring too but at least it has BADING vibes to rival a Kpopalypse “fiction” novel. Although it’s amusing that the difference between a normal person and a satanic love interest is apparently a few piercings.
This week’s non-Korean random music pick is this girl from India who raps better than your bias and then some. Enjoy.
A combination of literal covers, pretty close soundalikes, songs that are only similar for about two seconds, and massive reaches that have nothing in common with each other at all apart from maybe one solitary keyboard patch and a small section of similar vocal meter. Still an interesting video, I’d like to see a more modern version tackling the 2020s.
Look, someone got all the tears that everyone cried about NewJeans and made a NewJeans song with them!
Before Gwangil Jo there was Outsider, although honestly I prefer Gwangil Jo because his beat selection is generally better. This romantic strings track is pretty bland honestly. If you rap real fast it’s not going to make her come back to you, you know. I’ve never met a woman who looked at “fast rappers” with anything other than disdain. Maybe it’s different overseas, but saying that you rap in Australia is like saying you’re into NFTs or Andrew Tate, it’s a real swipe-left situation.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!
